I am getting fatter each day, I can feel it. I am less agile, less flexible, I have weaker stamina, and I can't jump as high as I could back then when I was a pro NBA Superstar. Char! Getting Old + Getting Fat = UNCOOLNESS! It's unbecoming of a pro blogger. I first felt the effect of my fattening when I got off a jeepney one time. I had a hard time keeping balance while avoiding the feet of other passengers, I almost fell. I was breathing hard after that endeavour.
SO there I was on the sidewalk, on my knees, breathing hard, with tears rolling down my cheeks, reminiscing the time when getting off a jeepney was a breeze. I was like a ninja back then. I nimbly skipped over the passengers' feet, with my toes touching the floor for a mere microsecond, after which I would end with a triple somersault dismount, land on both feet, with arms held high, a smile on my face, and pride in my heart. Now, this is what I am reduced to -- a fat ninja. I cry every night, because it's very lonely and I am fat. I am a lonely fat guy. That was why I decided to go to Abellana Sports Complex yesterday to join other fat joggingeros. Life is a choice... I choose to end my crying... I choose to be happy... I choose life.
The clock stroke 5, I coolfully went over to the Log-in-log-out Server to log out. Then I rushed out of the building like a raging bull, all fired up for the fat burning extravaganza galore. Luckily, a 62C jeepney was parked across the street, everything was in order, I was definitely fated for a fat burning extravanganza galore.
Inside the jeepney I was planning my fat burning regimen in my head. After a fiery debate with myself, I decided that I would jog for 30 mins, then join the tae bo class, after which I would cool down by jogging again. Then it hit me, like a fresh and steamy fecal matter in my face, I missed the corner that lead to Abellana Sports Complex 10 minutes ago. I lost my momemtum instantly. It bursted like a cute little bubble. It's hopeless, I'll be fat forever... I just wanna die. I didn't bother to get off the jeepney, I rode it the rest of the time. As the Jeepney turned at a corner a familiar sight came to view, its Manalili Street. This was where I reviewed for the engineering Board exams. I shouted to the driver: "Hey, Mr. Driver stop the vehicle now! Stop it! Stoooop!" But he didn't stop so I leaped off the speeding jeepney and rolled on the ground. I felt like Lito Lapid (my all time pinoy action star idol) for a moment. It was a glorious feeling. I had no rational explanation for what i did... My body moved as dictated by my heart. So I walked along the all too familiar street, then there it was my fave "tambayan" (not STARBUCKS) during the review -- a dirty Batchoyan. It was a small Bathcoyan that looked really dirty, but there batchoi was heavenly. I ordered the house's special (there were only two kinds special(with egg) and regular(no egg)), 3 "puso's" (cooked rice contained in diamond-shaped containers made from coconut leaves), and Jazz Cola. It was the best... I was full. Eating is so uplifting. Everytime I eat I feel happy and alive. Then I realized being fat is not bad. I just have to widen my perception for me to fit in it. Why should I be sad, I gained something didn't I? And for those people who said that I'm out of shape, you're dead wrong, ROUND is still a shape. Then I continued to walk down memory lane... happily.
Thank You Batchoy, you saved my life.
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